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I joined a seminar on Developing Lesson Plan for EYL at UPI. I should be arriving at 8 in the morning to re-register, but I came very late. I managed to come at around 9.15 in the morning.  When I arrived the 1st speaker was explaining ‘thing’ that I could not understand at the beginning. Then I tried to catch what she is being explained, I took a note on what written on the board. Then I could see then, the participants were supported to do a little survey someone who

–          Plans in the shower

–          Always design a lesson plan before teaching

–          Can mention elements of a lesson plan

–          Can explain the difference between objectives and indicators

–          Can sequence child-friendly activities

All the points written above, in my point of view related to the characteristics of developing instructional design. I put a hope that the seminar would support my quest on lesson planning.

The seminar itself was dedicated for pre-school and preliminary level English teachers. My coming was because the topic catch my eye. Minutes by minutes I joined the seminar in a bit impatient way. My mind went to my chapter one of my thesis. It discuses on giving background why I research lesson planning under genre-based approach. And my coming to Bandung was actually to submit my chapter one. When the break time came, it was at 12, I run to FPBS building to see my supervisor after being informed by her assistance that she was in that building.

I waited. Then I saw my supervisor walking and talking with others. I could not say anything as I knew that she was very busy. I heard that she was having ISO monitoring and assessment. It seemed to me that there would be no chance for me to submit my chapter one. The clock showed it was 13.20. I run back to Language building where I was joining the seminar there. Then I took my lunch box. I saw every participant was eating. Then the second session started. The second speaker did not make me enthusiastic. Sometimes she made fatal mistake that decrease my point of view for her as an expert on young learners. Lay person like me could do such a thing; the difference was that she got a place and moment. I just sighed; my mind went back to my thesis. I began cursed myself, I blamed my unluckiness. Others were doing their first seminar and dreaming about graduation by this August. My position was very worse, my thesis is in chapter one.

Then a text vibrated my gadget. I read that someone from the place where I was looking for a job asked whether he could call me. I replied yes.

He actually had called me four days before. He asked me what days that I could spend to teach in the school where he posts as the curriculum designer. I offered Monday, Friday and Saturday. He said that he was doing teaching table and would put my name on it. As the effect of this, I thought I had a right to dream about standing in front of students who were labeled international standard school.

It was around three in the afternoon, he called me. He informed me that he cancelled and erased my name as a teacher in the international standard school. He mentioned that other had filled the post. The information was in contradictory with what he said before. He said that the school needs at least two teachers to teach 48 hours. He spoke that if I joined it would be the great help for the school. After he told the main point, he added that he wanted my help on the students’ diary. But o knew very well that what he said after the main point was nothing but icebreaking. Even I had a bad impression on him. I concluded that he was nice to me as he needed me and he did jerk thing when he considered himself had a chance to do so, even it is to a person that he called friend.

I felt like he stabbed me from the back. Why he gave a sudden change. The decision was too weird to me. This hurt me much. I had accepted many pains this week. This completed the pain. I cursed my self again, even worse now.

(At the same time, my heart says that perhaps ‘the man who I belief’ who stands beside him that stabbed me, not him directly. Then I suspected both did this me in purpose. Actually, my plan to join international standard school is with a hope that I can give better nuance in this school. I had made enough research on these kind of schools, and got a vivid picture how to teach in this kind of class)

Then the seminar was over, I hurriedly run to FPBS building to see my supervisor, who knows that she had a minute for me to take a glance on my chapter one.

She was there, busy. When she was walking outside, my eye just followed every step she made, and then she would returned to her room when I stopped her and asked her if she had time for me. She said no she is in the middle of ISO program. I forgot what I had mentioned, but she agreed to wait for my hands opening the research questions part. She murmured that she needed to read before she decided what to change in my research questions. What she did for me, at least gave me a relief. I told myself if at least she remembered that I was doing my thesis, perhaps she would also remember that I was one of her students!


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